I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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