so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
