Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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