you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Your face is a jimmy john
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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