Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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