I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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