dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
