Do you still have your period?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
