you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
