before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
