Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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