he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
