I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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