Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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