Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
If I die, sorry about rent.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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