No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
