I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
