I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
wow bdsm is so cute
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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