I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
