Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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