I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
