Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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