Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize
