i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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