did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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