What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
