So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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