This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i permit you to call me
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
