I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize