my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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