shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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