Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99

  (415): View more from California

  Recession joke.

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  (415): Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99 (415): Recession joke. http://tfl.nu/0g53
  Replies (10) Good night (3087) Bad night (717)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.

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  (845): I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway. http://tfl.nu/8j56
  Replies (11) Good night (523) Bad night (1076)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina

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  (518): i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina http://tfl.nu/y9lz
  Replies (104) Good night (12331) Bad night (805)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore

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  (203): So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore http://tfl.nu/h83b
  Replies (11) Good night (787) Bad night (5236)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.

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  (214): Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer. http://tfl.nu/r45y
  Replies (10) Good night (6188) Bad night (776)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.

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  (615): I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line. http://tfl.nu/o0b8
  Replies (5) Good night (4241) Bad night (1385)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.

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  (502): if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords. http://tfl.nu/tyuw
  Replies (9) Good night (881) Bad night (3105)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol

  (540): View more from Virginia

  its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now

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  (540): come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol (540): its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now http://tfl.nu/0y7d
  Replies (6) Good night (1637) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?

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  (443): So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her? http://tfl.nu/6uxs
  Replies (8) Good night (1183) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?

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  (972): I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda? http://tfl.nu/bxk9
  Replies (13) Good night (1808) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.

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  (210): IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND. http://tfl.nu/ke4c
  Replies (21) Good night (2073) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care

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  (760): drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care http://tfl.nu/5385
  Replies (5) Good night (550) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.

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  (850): This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes. http://tfl.nu/j4m5
  Replies (19) Good night (2684) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.

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  (778): New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people. http://tfl.nu/h4j7
  Replies (6) Good night (892) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Did I run away from you last night?

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship

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  (757): Did I run away from you last night? (240): Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship http://tfl.nu/2q6b
  Replies (2) Good night (658) Bad night (272)

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