Texts From Last Night

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.

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  (678): he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people. http://tfl.nu/q5y8
  Replies (33) Good night (947) Bad night (3651)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.

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  (615): His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary. http://tfl.nu/s0bc
  Replies (15) Good night (846) Bad night (5093)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.

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  (313): I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life. http://tfl.nu/7obq
  Replies (9) Good night (738) Bad night (4227)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?

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  (647): Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen? http://tfl.nu/shhx
  Replies (25) Good night (2231) Bad night (2221)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Less talking, more tequila

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  (708): Less talking, more tequila http://tfl.nu/d67d
  Replies (8) Good night (2359) Bad night (735)
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  (626): View more from California

  Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.

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  (626): Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here. http://tfl.nu/81th
  Replies (3) Good night (2070) Bad night (749)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I just found it. I hope it leads to food.

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  (302): Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm... (302): I just found it. I hope it leads to food. http://tfl.nu/w6o4
  Replies (7) Good night (1906) Bad night (680)
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  (213): View more from California

  My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."

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  (213): My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie." http://tfl.nu/jevy
  Replies (38) Good night (3740) Bad night (799)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.

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  (570): Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone. http://tfl.nu/7xsv
  Replies (6) Good night (1537) Bad night (617)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day

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  (251): my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day http://tfl.nu/3vt7
  Replies (8) Good night (1199) Bad night (650)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.

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  (201): Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float. http://tfl.nu/ejnz
  Replies (6) Good night (1591) Bad night (547)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.

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  (803): I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me. http://tfl.nu/5d5j
  Replies (3) Good night (2086) Bad night (686)
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  (626): View more from California

  My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.

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  (626): My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza. http://tfl.nu/x0uu
  Replies (7) Good night (895) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...

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  (503): His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is. (1-503): It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin... http://tfl.nu/o5cf
  Replies (2) Good night (877) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.

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  (860): he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE. http://tfl.nu/wid5
  Replies (5) Good night (1014) Bad night (371)

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