Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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