Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
