Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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