Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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