Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize