he puts the penis in happiness.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
