Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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