Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
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