they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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