I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
