There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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