Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
