didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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