So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
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You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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