I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
