Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
