Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
