A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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