she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
