Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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