Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
