I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
