4 words: hood of his car
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
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I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
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Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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