those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize