Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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