I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
