right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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