Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
