you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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