Where are you?
In a non slutty way
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
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