I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
