I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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