I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize